I was gulping down the second bottle of Star, when I noticed
the guy sitting adjacent me, ogling at me and salivating. His eyes were hooked
lustfully at my drink. His side of the table was empty, and I was beginning to
wonder if he had any money at all to buy himself a bottle of drink. From the way
he ogled at other people's drink, I was sure he was financially handicapped.
When our eyes met, he raised his right hand and gestured at
me. I Winked back at him and surrendered my attention to my drink.
"Hey, your face locks familiar," he stepped forward.
I raised my head up, detaching my mouth from the bottle of
Star Lager I was drinking. I stared at him with puzzled eyes.
"I know you from Yaba Tech," he added as he drew a
seat opposite me and sat on it. Yaba Tech, I was more confused, and so, I continued
to stare at him without saying anything.
He drew my pack of London Menthol and lit a stick hungrily,
as if he had been starved of cigarettes for over a decade.
"It seems that you are not too good with faces ...
" he went on. I could see from the look en his eyes, that they were hooked
at my third bottle of Star.
"Bar man, give him a bottle of ... "
"Big stout!" he shouted excitedly, cutting me
short. Smartly, I quickly calculated the amount of damage that order would
cause my pocket. Big stout is big money!
He drank four bottles of Big stout that night telling me irrelevant stories
about politics, movies, music, etc. I foot the bill at the end, and we went our
separate ways.
A week later, I met him again at the same joint, on the same
seat. I exchanged pleasantries and went and sat on a chair far away. I tried to
avoid him as far as I could; knowing that he's a pest.
When he saw me opening my first bottle, he came forward and
joined me on my table.
"Did you see the P.D.P party convention?" I sighed
as he staggered across to my table.
"No," I said and turned my head away. "I
didn't watch it." From the look on my face, he knew I dreaded him more
than an AIDS carrier.
"You need to have watched it ... " he went on
smoothly. "Men, come and see the power game played by those bunch of scaliwags."
"Do you think Obasanjo will win?" I managed to ask
with considerable interest.
"Who go dash monkey banana?" He smirked, ogling at
me as lifted the bottle of Star to my lips. "I have always said it that Author
Nzeribe will emerge the winner of the 2003 presidential election. Gani Fawehemi
is warming up as his running mate ... " he continued. I was beginning to
wonder where he was getting his information from.
"Bar man, give me
a bottle of ig stout," he placed the order
when he noticed that I was be-ginning to be interested in his
rather poorly fabricated stories.
"Have you heard that Tupac and Notorious 6.I.G are
planning to release a new album?" he jibbed on.
"But ... but ... I thought they both are dead .. .' I
stuttered.
"Yes, that was before, now they are alive again,"
he explained drunkenly. I guessed he must have had one or two bottles before I
came.
"You are versatile 0," I teased as I gulped the
last drop of my drink and rose to go.
"Thanks for the drink," he mumbled as I called the
bar man to pay for my drink.
"Which drink?" I echoed, casting him a hard,
burning look. "You better settle the bar man 0, if you hadn't any money,
why did you order for it?"
"But you are my friend now. ., "Your friend?"
I chuckled, "I'm sorry. I am not a student of Yaba Tech, I am a staff of
Hints magazine, and I am sure I've not seen your face before ... "
I blurted and flounced out of the bar.
I was told that his shoes and wrist watch were forcefully collected
from him.
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